What is wrong with me? I am scared?

Isn't there an adult anywhere in your life whom you can trust and talk with? As I recall my 15th year, I would NEVER have told my parents about a problem like the one you describe. Guess I just didn't love them or trust them enough. So I can sympathize with your feelings on that. But yeah, I do recall episodes of terrible depression and being confused about life. In fact, you reminded me that I had feelings frequently that were almost exactly like the ones you describe. (Just hadn't thought of it for a while, until you mentioned it.) The more I read about modern teachers, the less respect I have for them. They always sound sarcastic and rude, and unable to forgive their students for simple transgressions. (Like not finishing a homework assignment, or that sort of thing.) If you were a church member, I'd tell you to consult a youth group leader...somebody who is male and about 25 years old. Why don't you find a church and start attending? If the pastor seems open-minded, ask who he would recommend for you to talk with about emotional problems. Sorry I can't do any better than this...but I don't really know you.